Love Tough Enough to Count On

Dear Friends,

It is an odd time to be posting a new blog post, but I just got home from work and could not wait any longer. It has been a while since I've posted (funny how that seems to be the start of every post I write!), but I have been inspired to plow forward and try to write more frequently by a variety of friends promulgating their excellent blogs on the internet.

Tonight, I write on a difficult subject. If you know me or have been following my blog, you know I have encountered mental disorders in the lives of my family and friends, and in my own life. It is something I intend to continue to write about, for the sake of helping others. I have received occasional emails from random people who have encountered my blog and have finally been able to put a name to the terrors they have been experiencing. Just tonight, I received an email from an Argentinian man struggling with HOCD, looking for guidance and direction. I hope and pray I can use my experiences to help others in any way I can. Tonight is one such night.

I want to pass along a story of a war waged by the mind, the story of an invisible struggle, and the story of a beautiful woman who has blessed me with her presence in my life.

My best friend in the whole world is Marie Kathleen Bordley, and she has done a very brave thing tonight. Marie posted her story online for the whole world to read. She bared her past, her heart, and her soul. I want to share her story not only because she is a brilliant writer who rivals the greatest literary geniuses, but because her story deserves to be heard.

Marie and I became friends the very first day of band camp (yes, nerd alert!). We generally remember the moment as follows:

Marie: "Hi, I'm Marie. My brother is the one giving a piggyback ride to that guy."

Maggie: "Hi, I'm Maggie. Funny, my brother is the guy he's giving a piggyback ride to."

By sophomore year, we were the best of friends. We talked all the time and texted frequently. But sophomore year, something changed. Marie changed. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

As you know, I'm the queen of worrywarts, and all my worry flags were raised, signaling that something was very wrong.

I will let Marie fill in the story from here; please follow this link and read her blog post. Then, continue reading below.

http://talkitallout.tumblr.com/post/51163286791/midway-an-anorexia-story

My intentions here are two-part. First and foremost, I want to spread Marie's story to anyone that will listen. It is SO incredibly important to break down the stigma of mental disorders.

 To do so, we must talk.

We must share.

We must listen.

We must not be afraid. Knowledge truly is power.

Second, I want to pass on some of the lessons Marie has taught me. We, as human beings, need each other. We need the love that we give and receive. We need to care for each other, and to be cared for. Marie has always been there for me, especially in my darkest moments. I have always been and always will be there for her on the days when the sun is shining its brightest and on the days when the night seems endless.

Live this love in all of your relationships.

If you are concerned about a friend, do not be afraid to speak up and involve adults if need be.

Remember that you are not a doctor or a miracle worker - you cannot fix your friends. You can only support them.

I remember sending Marie the lyrics to a song by Hunter Hayes entitled "Cry With You."

The lyrics read as follows:

"When you try not to look at me, scared that I'll see you hurting, you're not hiding anything. Frankly, its got me worried. Nobody knows you better than I do. I keep my promises, I'm fighting for you. You're not alone, I'll listen till your tears give out. You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down. What's hurting you I, I feel it too. I mean it when I say when you cry, I cry with you. I'm not going any place. I just hate to see you like this. No, I can't make it go away, but keeping it inside won't fix it. I can't give you every answer that you need, but I want to hear everything you want to tell me.

You need love tough enough to count on...

So here I am."

It is not a betrayal to help your friends get the help they need. We all need to be able to count on tough love. Our true friends are the ones who care enough to show us this tough love when things get difficult.

Words Truly,

Maggie