Heartbreaking

Dear Friends,

While listening to the radio today, I heard the most tragic, heartbreaking story I have heard in a long time. On Wednesday, a 15-year old girl jumped in front of a train in Staten Island and committed suicide. So many thoughts rushed through my head. Who is to blame? Why did she do this? Why does God let these things happen? Another young life, so full of promise, was lost. The radio station reporting the story had been discussing bullying over the past few days. One of the hosts had shared her story the day prior, discussing how she had been a victim of bullying as a child. In 6th grade, this woman had been shoved into lockers, punched, and threatened with death by other children. What??? Just writing those words breaks my heart into a million pieces. A father called in to the radio show and described how he and his daughter heard the host sharing her story. The little girl turned to her father and said, "I'm not the only one, Dad?" What is going on in our culture, in our society, in our world? 

Suicide is an incredibly difficult, sensitive subject. It is not simple. We cannot necessarily say the students who bullied the 15-year old girl above are to blame for her suicide. 90% of those who commit suicide have been diagnosed with mental disorders. It is fair to conclude that there is a link between mental illness and suicide. Personally, I believe that most cases of suicide occur in the context of a mental disorder, be it depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or another disease of the mind. Reading the news story about 15-year old Felicia Garcia indicates that she was struggling with depression and had lived a troubled life as a foster child who frequently ran away from home. I do not believe her classmates are to blame for her actions. However, I do believe these students failed to give Felicia what she needed so desperately: love. On this Earth, we are ultimately called to one vocation: to love. If we love, we succeed. In our society today, love seems to be vacant in the lives of so many. Imagine what it would look like if we took the time to love our family members, friends, classmates, and neighbors. Imagine what it would look life if we took the time to ask these people how they are, not because it is the social norm to say, "Hi, how are you," but because we truly care. 

I believe bullying and suicide can be prevented. But it will not go away by putting a poster on the wall that says "No Bullying Zone." It will not go away by simply telling our kids not to be bullies or to not to be bullied. We must open our eyes. Parents need to parent. They need to be involved in the lives of their children. I am so incredibly blessed to have parents who are involved in every facet of my life, yet allow me the independence I need to grow as an individual. I have met many parents who do not know half of what their children experience and deal with on a daily basis. Teachers need to teach. They do not need to be parents. However, they cannot turn a blind eye to bullying and blatant actions of hate. Even in my wonderful Catholic High School, I witnessed obvious bullying of students. I witnessed teachers witnessing the bullying and turning away. I have seen how cruel kids can be. Children do not come out of the womb perfect, but they also do not come out of the womb as hateful and unkind creatures. If a child can learn to be a bully, then he or she can learn to love. 

I do not know what my purpose in posting this entry is. After hearing this story, I simply felt compelled to write a post about it. Bullying and suicide, both as separate instances and as linked instances, snap my heart into an infinite number of pieces. Both actions are so devoid of love. I hope and pray we begin to look around and spread love to our neighbors, classmates, friends, and strangers. May God guide us.

Words Truly,

Maggie